… I can’t drink my coffee black. REALLY long-time readers might remember that up until that Christmas Eve a few years ago when I told the Knight I wanted a Keurig just because he needed SOMETHING for that insane holiday habit of his (last-minute shopping), I didn’t like/drink much coffee at all.
I still am a tea-drinker. I love tea, and am trying to work green tea back into the rotation. If you have a favorite green tea blend, please share. Sadly, my tea cupboard is lacking in the greens these days. However, for my morning commute, I brew a 16 oz. travel mug of coffee and slosh some non-dairy, flavored creamer in it.
For those following along… that’s not lower-your-cholesterol-diet-friendly stuff. In fact, I got rather turned off reading about the lard that basically is non-dairy creamer. Ick. Does anyone splash soy or almond milk in her coffee or tea instead of the good ol’ moo juice or the … over-processed but yummy gunk?
I love stumbling upon new blogs/products/recipes/shoes… oooh, shiny! (Shocker… wild crows don’t collect shiny objects. Who knew?!) If it sparkles, I’m distracted and want it. So, while my brain is fried from another busy week at work, book-ended by firehouse elections and some League meetings at night, I’ll toss a few more nuggets from bloggers who are capable of stringing together coherent thoughts in a rather grand fashion.
I found Cranky Fitness through Fit Bottomed Girls. I’ve mentioned FBG before; they have a very realistic, supportive approach to finding one’s one healthy lifestyle groove. Cranky Fitness’s link happens to be to her give-away, because that’s how FBG introduced me to her AND because I know y’all are readers and many of you like some non-fiction reading too.
As a bonus, Cranky introduced me to The Great Fitness Experiment’s post on the cure for not being good enough. I was blessed to grow up with plenty of folks assuring me I was awesome and the world was my oyster, and I’m not sure I’ve lacked self-confidence more than a few isolated moments here and there, but that doesn’t mean I’ve never looked in the mirror and thought or said mean things I would never even THINK about a friend, just to give one example.
Again, those of you who read here regularly know I don’t believe in coincidence, so it’s not by chance that while I’m sitting here with my feet propped up, wishing I wasn’t so drained on a lovely spring evening, I tripped over these two blogs, these two posts.
Here’s something a lot of you don’t know about me.
I’m a fraud. One of my theme songs might be “Don’t Cry Out Loud,” and definitely, Miranda’s “Mama’s Broken Heart” suits me. (If you didn’t click over… Go and fix your make-up/girl it’s just a break-up/run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady…)
Life is hard, but for me, it’s harder when I wallow. For me, balance comes faster when I pull up my bootstraps, hide my crazy, and smile.
So… yeah. Life is hectic. But I landed on my feet and can honestly say I’m now in that really special place where the adage “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” applies. I broke one of my golden rules and brought work home this week. I forfeited a snow day because our shop is running VERY short, and I knew my co-workers were going to brave the weather, so the least I could do is go the extra mile with them.
Likewise, being an unintentional two-term president of the small but fierce JLC hasn’t been a picnic at times either, but the rewards have exceeded the personal cost. I’ve missed some sleep. I probably have risked frost bite with those parking lot meetings after the meetings. I’ve had to trust the Knight to take care of Sissy’s eye drops FAR more often than I’d prefer, but see her post; she’s her sassy, fine self, and she and her Dadaw both survived a triple-purpose trip to the vet today.
Here’s one thing I’ve learned over that two-year journey that is coming to an end; appearing unflappable isn’t always a good thing. I had a crying jag after a 2000 mile round-trip sprint to deal with my mother’s final arrangements – and snow in the deep South?! really?! – and informed the Knight that just because I wasn’t a puddle of mess, it didn’t mean I didn’t need support. Other women are watching me cope and juggle and do it all, and I was honestly chagrined for all the wrong reasons when one of the women I’ve worked with in the League at the highest level for YEARS now was shocked to hear a dirty word escape my lips, under my breath, just last month.
Sorry Nana; I wasn’t embarrassed BECAUSE she heard it, but rather, because I thought she knew me better than that. Come on, folks. I do try to be a class act, but I work in the fire service “service industry” and was basically raised by an old Marine/former fire chief/mechanic. Do you REALLY think I say (or think?!) “darn!”?!?!?
Anyhooooo, the point of this ramble is that I’m going to continue to fake it ’til I make it when life is hard, because it works for me. I’m happiest when I’m problem-solving and making the world a better place, but that works for me because I have the Knight and some of the best friends ever, with whom I can be snarky and critical. It’s how I vent.
Well… that and logging Sissy miles, and miles. Even on a bad walk where Sissy has pulled like a freight train and Gretchen Greer has bounced all over like a paddle ball, I get home feeling restored and ready for the next round. My faith is renewed when I’m in nature. There’s just something about being in the woods – or on the beach – that puts it all in perspective for me. (Go endorphins!)